


If We Lose Ourselves: Part II

by Likesummerrain (AverageBunny)



Series: If We Lose Ourselves [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fake Marriage, Falling In Love, Undercover Missions, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 06:35:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AverageBunny/pseuds/Likesummerrain
Summary: A series of short fics where Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luminara Unduli go on an undercover mission as a recently married couple.You know what happens next.





	1. Vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of 4!

The longer they stayed, the more she found herself relaxing around him. When he put his arm around her, her shoulders dropped, relaxing in his touch. 

His lips on her cheek ceased to feel strange, but now felt comforting. 

It was the little things, she noticed, outside of their mission that made her feel safe around him. 

He brought her tea in the morning, squeezed her shoulder as he walked by, and, on accident a few times, used one of his terms of endearments for her. 

Yet she didn’t notice until he corrected himself. 

She found herself sitting closer to him in their house, found herself staying up later and later, talking to him, both on their fourth mug of tea, blankets wrapped around them, keeping the fire going. 

“Do you ever want to go back?” he asked, setting his mug down. “To the planet you were brought from?” 

Luminara looked away, resting her mug on her knees, watching the steam slowly dwindle as her mug cooled. 

“I used to,” she said quietly, bringing the mug back to her lips. Obi-Wan watched her, waiting for her to continue. Luminara wasn’t sure she should. “When I was younger...I thought about leaving the temple, perhaps, just for a day...just to see it.” 

“Why didn’t you?” he asked, his voice softening. 

“I grew up...it seemed less important. I knew my duty was to the Order and I convinced myself that going back would be wrong. So I stayed.” She looked down at the carpet beneath them, a scratchy white-colored one that ran through the entire house. She hated that carpet. “And you?” she asked. Obi-Wan sighed, 

“It didn’t feel right,” he said. “I thought it best to...forget about that. The Temple is my home, I didn’t need anything more than that.” 

“A sad way to live, isn’t it?” she said, huffing a laugh, her voice cracking. Hesitantly, Obi-Wan reached his hand out, as though he weren’t sure he were allowed to. Luminara made no move to stop him and he rested his hand over hers, squeezing it gently. 

“No,” he said. “Not anymore.” Luminara looked up at him. A smile, it seemed, was permanent on Obi-Wan’s face, but this one was different. This one, she felt, was hers and hers alone.  


	2. Eyes

Her eyes were blue. A bright, dramatic blue that he had never seen anywhere else before. He wasn’t sure that color existed anywhere else in the galaxy. Especially, he thought, not when she laughed. 

It was the first laugh he’d gotten out of her since they’d arrived. A real, genuine laugh, one that she couldn’t control, one that would slowly die down, only for it to return a few minutes later when she thought back on this. 

And in all honesty, he understood why she laughed like that. 

Obi-Wan stood up, his clothes caked in dirt, his hair riddled with twigs and leaves and a long gash across his cheek. 

Luminara covered her mouth with her hands, turning her head slightly, trying to stop herself from laughing too loud, but the sight of him in such a disarray gave her no choice. 

“I didn’t see that,” he mumbled, nodding at the angered animal at his feet that had knocked him over. 

“Neither did I,” she said, calming herself down. Her breathing was heavy and Obi-Wan could see her smile quivering as she suppressed a laugh. 

He stopped in front of her, unable to resist a smile himself, and put his arms up. 

“Okay,” he said, defeatedly. “Get it out, before we have to go back.” Luminara nodded, doubling over in laughter. She held her stomach, her body shaking as she laughed at his expense. 

Obi-Wan stood still for a few minutes, waiting for her to calm down, laughing slightly as well. Her laughter soon turned to small giggles as she made her way over to him, brushing the dirt off his face and picking some of the twigs out of his hair. 

“When they told us to blend in,” she started, her voice soft and significantly happier, “I don’t believe they meant for you to go this far, Obi-Wan.” 

“Very funny,” he said, wiping the dirt off his shirt. 

“No no,” she said, another laugh making its way out. “It’s a good look for you.” Obi-Wan looked up at her and smiled. “Mister Poster Child of the Jedi,” she said quietly, still laughing. 

It was the first laugh she’d given him, and he couldn’t care less that it was at his own expense. 

Something in his stomach twisted when he looked into her eyes. No one was around them, there was no act to put on for anyone. Just the two of them, alone in the forest. He felt safe with her there, felt more at ease than he’d ever been before. 

And in his heart he swore, if it meant falling in dirt and being attacked by small animals that made her laugh like that, he’d do it every day just to hear it again.  


	3. Smile

“You’re lying,” she said. Obi-Wan bent his head down, focusing intently on the dish in his hand as he scrubbed it clean. “You’ve never heard them say that?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said quietly. “And I have not.” 

“Spare me,” she said, chuckling. “You know full well what I’m talking about and you won’t admit it.” 

“I do not,” he said again. She pulled the plate out of his hand and watched him until he turned to face her, his cheeks still bright red. 

“Oh you don’t, Mister ‘Model Jedi’?” she teased. 

“I’m not the ‘Model’,” he said offendedly. 

“You are,” she told him. “I know because we’re all sick of hearing it.” His eyes grew wide and his blush did not disappear. “I’m kidding,” she said softly. 

“I know,” he mumbled, picking up another plate, running it under the tap. “Do they really call my a Model Jedi?” he asked after a moment. Luminara nodded, sighing dramatically. 

“We’ve heard it from nearly every council member,” she said. “You’re the Order’s favorite, sweetheart,” she said, nudging him. He smiled, 

“I could say the same for you,” he said, nudging her back, handing her the cleaned dish for her to dry. 

“Oh you do flatter me, Obi-Wan,” she replied. He looked at her, leaning against the sink. 

“In your opinion,” he said. “Who’s your favorite Jedi?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Luminara’s eyes narrowed, 

“What?” she asked. He nodded, waiting for her to continue. Luminara laughed, but decided to answer anyway. A little fun wouldn’t hurt, she thought. 

“Well I think it’s quite obvious,” she said, shrugging, moving to place the dishes back in the cupboard. 

“Is it?” Obi-Wan asked, his voice light and playful. She nodded, 

“Oh yes,” she said, turning back to him. He was smiling coolly, something about it made her heart jump. “My favorite, by far, is Quinlan Vos.” 

She had to laugh at the sudden drop in Obi-Wan’s smile. 

“Of course,” he mumbled, turning to clean the sink. 

Luminara walked past, bumping him as she passed. “And you too, of course,” she said quietly. 


	4. Celebration

Fireworks, he learns, are loud and highly unnecessary. 

Gatalenta was a planet of traditions. Ones that celebrated the beginning of life, as they believed, the arrival of the three suns, or in tonight’s case, the beginning of their planet. 

The people of Gatalenta were sweet people, ones with a firm hold on their traditions and their life, celebrating every aspect of it any chance they got. 

It was something Obi-Wan was not used to. 

“They’re quite beautiful, aren’t they?” Luminara asked, standing next to him. She stared up at the colors dancing in the sky around them, illuminating the stars overhead as each firework went off in the sky. 

“They are,” he said, watching her. She was dressed up, they all were, but tonight she looked beautiful. Or, more beautiful than usual, he corrected himself. Her dress was short, decorated with a gold pattern around the neck. Her hair was pulled up and the light from the fireworks glinted off her earrings, making her skin sparkle in their reflection. 

He wanted to reach out his hand and push the small stray hairs back, smooth his hand over them and pull her close. 

He wanted to hold her as they watched the show, but he stopped himself, instead gripping his glass tighter. 

He took a long swig of his drink, silently telling himself off for thinking of her like that. 

They had a mission to complete, he reminded himself. Their target stood not too far from them, shaking the hands of those around him, talking to each attendee personally, as though he’d known them forever. And he just might’ve, Obi-Wan thought, he certainly had acted that way towards them, welcoming them to  _ his  _ town, he’d called it. 

But when he turned back to Luminara whose eyes were still fixed on the lightshow above them, it was as though he’d forgotten what he was there for. Forgotten that there was anyone else around them. He couldn’t help but watch they way she was fixed on the fireworks, eyes wide in awe of the designs they created in the night sky, the way the colors mixed together and created a spotlight that seemed to shine right on her. 

From the corner of his eye he saw one of their neighbors approaching them, waving to Obi-Wan. He nodded and took his chance, wrapping one arm around her shoulder. 

He pressed a kiss to her cheek and pulled her closer, taking the arrival as an excuse to hold her, even just for a moment. 

 


	5. Under the Rain

“If you stand out any longer you’re going to get sick” 

He looked back at her, hair slicked back from the rain, small droplets of rain covering his cheeks, the widest smile she’d seen on him in a while. 

“Come out here,” he said, waving her over. She leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. She shook her head as he walked over, taking her by the hand, pulling her out into the cool night air. 

It was a quiet rain, calming her as soon as she stepped outside. It was unlike anything she’d felt before, the tranquility of the night washing over her as the rain fell around her. 

He held her hand, pulling her by his side in the middle of their yard. His head was tilted up, eyes closed, letting the rain fall on him and Luminara couldn’t tear her gaze away. When he looked back at her she brought one hand up to his cheek, gently smoothing her thumb over it, pushing the droplets away. 

Obi-Wan placed his hand over hers, leaning into her touch, watching her softly. 

Luminara brought him closer, his eyes fluttering shut as she closed the distance between them. His hands moved from hers to the back of her neck, his thumb settled behind her ear. 

She was hesitant but he waited. 

Obi-Wan leaned his forehead against hers, his lips brushing against hers lightly, waiting for her. She felt her stomach knot itself over and over, her hand trembling over his cheek. 

His lips were soft, she thought, soft and gentle, as though he’d done it before. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. 

She felt the raindrops move down her cheek to her lips, his hand wiping them away as he held her tighter. 

Her mind went blank as she kissed him, but she felt safe. 

There, in the middle of the neighborhood, with the rain steadily growing heavier around them, Luminara kissed Obi-Wan, neither one caring what they looked like or who saw. 

It had been two months since they’d arrived and she had wanted to say so much. All those long nights, the light touches, the lingering glances had led up to this. 

But when her lips met his, the words vanished. 

The kiss spoke louder than any words they could ever form.  

 


	6. Breaking the Rules

She did not meet his eyes. 

When he spoke to her, she kept her gaze down and answered in short, calculated words, never saying more than she needed to. 

To the outside world, nothing had changed. Mynaa and Elias were as happy as ever. 

To Obi-Wan, he had overstepped his boundaries. 

She avoided him as much as she could, never making any mention of the kiss they’d shared almost a week ago. Obi-Wan watched as she moved around the house, silently working, plotting, tracking their target. They had a mission, after all. 

“Luminara,” he said softly, grabbing her arm as she walked past him. She stopped, making no move to pull her arm away from him. “Please, talk to me.” 

She looked at him, the warmth in her eyes gone. She had reverted back to her Jedi self, speaking quietly, never saying more than she thought necessary. 

“We’re getting close,” she said. “We can’t do this.” He dropped his head and she left, shutting the bedroom door behind her. 

Obi-Wan stood there in their living room. 

The living room. 

Not theirs. 

Not really. 

He stood, waiting for something,  _ anything.  _

But nothing came. 

Outside he heard the sound of a stray animal, calling out for its pack. A wounded sound, searching for its home, lost among the unfamiliar. 

Obi-Wan went to sleep, pushing the thought out of his mind as best he could. 

But at night he dreamed that he was holding her, that she chose him over everything. 

He had chosen her, too. 

He always would. 

 


	7. Flowers

The house had a small balcony which overlooked a lake nearby. 

He had taken to standing out there for most of the evening, eyes closed, the wind slightly rustling his hair, one loose strand falling in his face. 

She had put distance between them and he had followed suit. 

The kiss had scared her, but the thought of losing him so soon scared her too. 

“Tea?” He turned to look at her. He had bags under his eyes and she knew he, like her, hadn’t slept properly in days. 

“Thank you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, taking the mug from her hands. 

They stood beside each other in silence, the clinking of the mugs on the plates the only sound between them. 

“I have something for you,” she said quietly, setting her mug aside. She reached into the pocket of her robe, pulling out a small, blue cloth. She unwrapped it and showed it to him. 

Obi-Wan peered down at the small cloth, 

“Is that-?” he started, looking up at her incredulously. She nodded, biting her lip. “I didn’t think they grew here!” He took the small plant from her, examining it up close. 

“Wintercress is a rare plant here,” she started. “I found it this morning on the trail right here.” She motioned to the lake behind them but Obi-Wan stared at the plant. 

“I can’t believe it,” he said, looking up at her now. He straightened himself up and stepped closer to her, “Thank you, Luminara,” he said softly. Luminara looked down at his hands, the plant resting delicately in his palm. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. 

“You have no reason to be.” 

“There are rules,” she said.  

“I know,” he replied. 

“And I don’t care,” she stated, looking back up at him. He smiled gently, leaning his head close. Luminara did the same. 

“Then neither do I,” he said. She kissed him again, there on their balcony and this time, she was not scared.  


	8. Listen

They spoke in hushed tones, as though someone would hear them, sharing parts of themselves that had never seen the light of day until now. 

They sat, with their legs intertwined, a gentle breeze flowing in through the open windows, telling each other of their lives. 

They had grown up next to each other, but knew nothing about each other. 

It was strange, he’d said, how little they knew of each other, despite having fought side by side for years. 

“Fighting a war doesn’t exactly leave time for heart-to-heart’s, Obi,” she’d replied, kissing his hand. 

He’d pulled her in for another kiss, leaving her just as breathless as he had the first time. 

She would never get used to it, she told him, but he promised to try and help, earning a light slap on the leg from her. 

But she kissed him back without hesitation and he knew she felt the same as he did. 

Luminara fell asleep before him, there in his arms, splayed out on the couch. Her head resting against his chest, Obi-Wan gently smoothed the hair out of her face. 

It was nearly sunrise, the first of the three suns slowly breaking over the horizon. Their plans lay out scattered in front of them, abandoned from the night’s efforts. 

They didn’t speak of it, the two of them, what they were doing, they simply carried on. Their mission was first priority.

They…

They weren’t sure what to call themselves. 

He turned his head and pressed a small kiss to her forehead and Luminara nestled her head closer into the chest, one arm draped over him. Obi-Wan ran his fingers through her hair absentmindedly, staring down at the plan they’d come up with, committing the words to memory. 

He was in no rush despite knowing that this mission had an expiration date on it. 

For now, he thought, there was no rush to figure this out. 

Her breathing was steady, a gentle sound in that early morning haze that slowly lulled him to sleep alongside her. 

  
  



	9. Settled

“No. Absolutely not.” Obi-Wan is taken aback at how stern she looks, staring him down. He puts it back, apologizing quietly, sorting through the racks for another. 

“I didn’t realize you hated orange” he mumbled. 

“I’m not putting orange in the living room,” she stated, turning her back to him, looking through another set of curtains. 

“Are you sure we should be changing the curtains?” he asked, sorting through blues and greens. 

“We’re not sure how long this is going to take,” she said without looking at him, “and if I have to see those ugly curtains in the house any longer I will tear them out myself.” 

“They’re just curtains, dear,” Obi-Wan mumbled. He sighed deeply, dropping them back onto the shelf, staring at the other colors in front of him. 

They were incredibly domestic, shopping for curtains and rugs for their small cottage. He’d spent the morning planting around the house and now he stood trying to figure out which color Luminara would prefer. 

“How about these,” she said, turning around, holding up pale yellow curtains. Obi-Wan nodded, 

“Those are nice,” he said. Luminara inspected them, speaking to him but staring at the other selections in front of her. 

Obi-Wan watched her. Her hair was pulled up in a sleek bun, a black shawl wrapped around her dress. She looked comfortable, not only debating color schemes, but here, at home. 

Home. 

She’d called it that once or twice, by mistake he assumed. 

But she hadn’t corrected herself and the truth was he was glad she hadn’t. 

It felt like home to him. 

She felt like home. 

“Obi-Wan?” she called, waving her hand in front of him. 

“Yes?” he said, snapping out of his thoughts. 

“Are you listening?” she asked. He smiled, 

“Of course,” he replied. “Those are perfect,” he said, nodding to the curtains in her hand. “Ready to go home?” 


	10. Escape

He finds their lightsabers tucked away in the closet one morning while he’s getting ready. The metal base feels almost unfamiliar in his hand. 

It had been two months since he’d picked it up, and longer, he thinks, since he’d used it. 

The sight of it makes his stomach churn, hers placed right next to it, and he’s reminded of what is to come. 

He puts them away quickly, wrapping them back in their robes, an emptiness in his hands as soon as he replaces it. 

He pushes the thought away and showers. 

They hiked up the cliff nearest them, just past the forest behind their cottage. 

It had become something of a routine for them, climbing to the top of the rock early on the weekends, watching the suns rise. 

Luminara sits between his legs, her back pressed against his chest, head resting on his shoulder. 

They don’t speak on these trips, knowing that saying anything would ruin their small escape of the morning. 

Even in the midst of strangers, on an unfamiliar planet, these trips are a break for them. 

On the mountain top there are no worries, there is nothing weighing on them, no duty, no jobs, nothing. 

On the mountain top, they are together and that’s all they need. 

Obi-Wan leaned into her, kissing the top of her head as the first sun lit the world around them. 

Their force signatures were in tune with each others, and in that moment he could feel her growing calmer as the second sun made its way out. 

He laced their fingers together, bringing her hand up to his lips, kissing it softly. 

Luminara settled herself closer into him, the third sun slowly peeking out from the horizon. 

He waited until the suns were all out at their highest for the hour, watching the sky start to glow bright, all the colors mixing until they settled on the soft blue he knew so well. 

“Good morning, love,” he whispered to her, tilting her chin up to face him. 

“Good morning, darling,” she replied softly, kissing him. 


End file.
